Right person Wrong time

 The last month had been Chaos. 

Health, Mental Health, work, life and matters of the heart. 

"The kids great grandmother is very ill" resulting in the mad rush to pack them up and send them overseas.

The Endocrine did a 180 flip and went south causing instability and palpitations. 

Work is crazy as usual or it is shorten work hours.

Life is managing Uni work which isn't going great and supporting the "system" with the brother and mother travelling all at the same time. 

In the midst of it all...

The heart got drawn back again to what seems to feel so right.

Supporting as needed... Random walks and calls as needed. 

It felt so near and yet so far. Everything felt like time came to stand still and nothing had changed over decades.

Discussing life, health, career and study choices all over again.

Then in the midst of all Chaos... 

The silence broke. The Gut feeling that something was off somewhere... Might not be just a gut feeling...

The news hit harder than expected. I am at least grateful for hearing it from the horse's mouth... My World still turned upside down. 

It matters so much more than I imagined even as I appreciate the forthcoming honesty. It hurts so much that it is almost numbing... 

Where does it go from here? Do I stay because Love is Love... Do I continue to support in view of history and health concerns. Can I step back and support from a different position because deep down it didn't change over decades so nothing will change. 

Right Person Wrong Time

Just as I have this ringing in my head since the last conversation... Becky came up with this same tagline for her upcoming song skin that will probably speak to the heart like Daylight does. 

The timing feels like a Reset again. One step forward and a Thousand steps back... 

Why does it feel so right and yet so wrong all at the same time?

Where do we go from here. Or .... Should I be asking where do I go from here. Again it feels like the choice is taken out of my hands yet again. While the internal struggle questions if I am able to be brave/strong enough to hang on and keep loving or is the pain finally too much to bear?

While I wait for the confirmation that I already know... While this situation continues to complicate... 

While Self Healing if ever... takes an inch at a time...

I end here with the same...

-LYAF-